hire me...

poor college student seeking summer employment. preferably good pay. good grades in high school, accomplished lots in sports, hard worker. likes to have fun, loves ice cream and sleeping. all for alias on wednesday nights and cheering on the dawgs...

oh wait. you mean employers are looking for what kind of jobs you've held? they don't want to know what you like and things you've done? okay okay...i can do that. heres my resume:

ages 6-10: offered pristine, cavity-free teeth to the tooth fairy
age 7: picked up icky bombs (gum balls, spikey balls, whatever the crap people call them) from the neighbor's yard for 1 cent each (lets just say we found enough to keep us occupied for an entire afternoon...for which the labor wasn't fully paid)
ages 8-12: worked in my cul-de-sac selling homemade lemonade and hand crafted bracelets (designed by yours truly)
ages 9-12: co-babysat for nextdoor neighbor's 3 children for cheap pay (and i mean cheap)
ages 13-18: the dry spell of employment...job considered to be school and sports; parental allowance
age 18: proof reading bibles...under the table

okay, so i'll admit it. i have no true working experience. why? because i can't put any of those down on my application.

i'm sure that confession can convince a potential employer to put me to work for an entire summer. i'm trying to fill out about a gazillion different camp staff applications and the page that is reserved for employment history, i have to leave empty. white space. looks great, especially since i'm 18 years old and i've never officially held a job. sure, i've earned a little money here and there at make shift jobs (i.e. babysitting, proofreading bibles, picking up icky bombs in the neighbor's yard for 1 cent a pop, etc.), but nothing on the record that requires all that tax crap. so i'm hoping that they'll be understanding and overlook this minor detail. again, i said hope...

wishing, and hoping, and thinking, and praying...