Monday, January 23, 2006

in memory of g-pops

world traveler. enthusiastic story teller. avid sports fan. aviation lover. grandpa.

in his prime, stanley was a strapping young man. but i only knew him after his youth had faded into wrinkles, a balding gray head, and a hunched posture. grandpa was the cutest old man. so adorable that i affectionately dubbed him the name g-pops.

the top of grandpa's head was bald except for the few wisps he could still manage to comb over. i remember sitting on grandpa's lap when i was little, becca and i at the age when we didn't quite understand the concept of aging, asking grandpa what happened to his hair. the story was always the same: he had been sitting in the barber's shop, reading his newspaper, nodding off as the barber cut his hair. when he woke up, the barber had cut off his hair and it never grew back! honestly, his story always made me a little nervous when i went for a haircut. it wasn't until i was about 10 when i realized that it wasn't true.

grandpa's wrinkles evidenced years of expressive storytelling on his round face. he certainly had plenty of stories to share from his travels abroad. it probably wouldn't be much of an exaggeration to say that grandpa has been everywhere. he'd go on trips and send us a manila envelope full of pictures of obscure sites he visited that really didn't hold much interest to a kid with paragraph-long explanations on the back of what it was, accompanied with pages and pages about his travels. his big, loopy handwriting was a little difficult to interpret (but "love, grandpa" was always clearly written on my pink, sparkly birthday cards).

when we visited his little apartment in trenton, he'd re-tell the stories from his most recent travels and break out his scrapbooks with even more pictures and brochures. all the while, he'd have a huge grin on his face, his story broken by short bursts of chuckles as he relived the moments in his mind. when grandpa smiled, his mouth would drop open and stretch all the way across his face. grandpa had a fantastic memory. of course, he did have his favorite stories that he seemed to tell us every time the thought came to him...such as the one about kenny rogers' plane flying overhead. he loved that one.

i think what made g-pops so irresistibly cute (aside from the stutter he'd get when he was so excited about telling a story) was the way he wore his pants. he always had his belt fastened so high on his waist that his pant cuffs hovered above his shoelaces. old people shrink. i'm not exactly sure why. back when grandpa was just simply stanley, i believe he was about the same height as my brother, karl (far right in the picture). but as time wore on, the shrink factor took over. such a cute old man.

i saw the g-pops i've described for the last time back in june (when this picture was taken). with his failing health, we had visited under the assumption that would be the case. with that, i had the chance to savor the last time i would be able to listen to his stories and laugh, see that huge smile come across his round face, and give him a hug.

i've been trying to write this post for a few months now. in september, grandpa got sick and eventually checked into a hospice, where my parents spent weeks at his bedside. they transcribed letters he wanted to send to certain people and played orchestra music for him because it reminded him of his father. i would call up to see how he was doing. some days he would be doing great, on others we assumed the worst.

the last time i got to see my 89-year-old grandpa was the day before thanksgiving. we visited him in the hospice right after arriving to the airport. at first, i didn't really recognize him as he lay in the hospital bed, wrapped in white bed sheets. his wrinkles had almost disappeared along with his round cheeks after a month and a half without eating. i noticed a small tear gather in the corner of his right eye when we came in. he couldn't talk or open his eyes, but he could hear us talk to him. of all the things we told him about, his biggest reaction came when we told him that penn state was ranked number three...he raised his eyebrows in excitement. what i'm thankful for is that i had the chance to hold his hand and tell him that i loved him. as we said goodbye, g-pops found enough strength to lift his hand a little to wave goodbye. grandpa died two days later.


3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing a sweet story. When we were going through the sadness of losing Dad, Mom said, "This is the way we want it to be. We want to care enough about folks close to us that it matters when they are not well."

I've appreciated that perspective ever since. I'm grateful for the people that have mattered to me, even when it has meant great sadness.

Thanks for helping me to remember those folks.

Great picture of g-pops. The wonderful face made me laugh more than anything.

Jeannine said...

thanks for your thoughts, dan. i'm glad you can appreciate how adorable his smile is.

Unknown said...

Bean,

Thanks for the great summary. After 3 and a half years your short story recaptured the moments for me.

p-corn-i-tus